Last night, I looked in the mirror, and wondered when, exactly, did my ass get that big? I held up my HUGE jeans, and couldn't believe that the woman staring back at me is the same woman who fills up every inch of those jeans, and still manages to have 'muffin top'. Bummer.
So, with Hubby's Christmas party coming up this weekend, I thought I'd better go buy something to wear. BAD idea. Of course, I headed to Ross AFTER I had already gone to a couple of other stores (When did fabric get so expensive?), and was wondering why all of these dresses are sleeveless? Just because we live in Florida doesn't mean fat girls need to be showin' their bat flaps, as I call them. Every dress (in my size) I looked at was either sleeveless, old lady-fied, or hooker-fied, or looked like something you would either wear to a wedding, funeral, or prom. I opted for a sleeveless blouse (so I may take flight at any time between salad and the entree), and I grabbed a side of old-lady dress as a back up.
Then, on to JC Penney. I thought I would see what they had, since I had a coupon, and I was right there. Well...APPARENTLY fat girls aren't supposed to go to parties, 'cause all the nice clothes were across the isle from the fluffy sizes. Just one size too small. Why, someone please tell me, can they not have those gorgeous clothes in just one size bigger?
Oh! and APPARENTLY fat girls aren't supposed to get laid, either (pardon the expression, but that's just me bein' me) because good luck finding a sexy satin nightie in your size if you're larger that a size 'L' (which means like a 12, apparently)
Damn! I REALLY wish I didn't like ice cream!
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